Let it be glee, disappointment, satisfaction, disturbance, contentment, bad grades, heart-breaks, dismay, depression, stress, triumph, ecstasy or whatever, you bring it on to your self. Nothing and nobody can ever make you happy or sad unless you let them do so. It is YOU, the only one, who has the power to perturb your self or cheer your self up.
At times we are hurt. Seemingly hurt by a fellow human but actually hurt by the choices and the decisions we made.
Yes! They pretended to be your friend at first but later on used offensive and ignominious words against us.
Yes! They said mean things about you and backbit you.
Yes! They were multi-faceted.
Yes! They revealed your secrets to everyone.
Yes! They backstabbed you.
Yes! They ditched you at last minute.
Yes! They left you just when you needed them the most.
Yes! They cheated you.
Now above I have presented to you the ugly side of the picture. But there is another side to it as well. A side that most of us leave unseen which is why a lot of our wounds are left unhealed. We generally view the whole scenario as somebody else’s fault and everything bad that happened to us, blame it on others; and then it takes us forever to get over it. Our whole life is spent wondering;
“Oh God! Why always me?,
What bad did I do to her?
Why did he two-timed me? Or,
Why did she back-stabbed me?”
However if we remind ourselves that one hand can’t clap, it always takes two hands, and in this case; the first hand is yours while the other hand is of the person who seems to have hurted you. I’ll tell you why I obliged you the first hand in this deleterious and agonising clap, the echo of which pierces right through the heart, it’s because YOU who gave them the right to hurt you, YOU were the one who chose to be friends with them, YOU AND ONLY YOU BRING IT ON TO YOURSELF.
Yeah sure! They used rude and scornful words but why do we even give importance to their gimmick.
Sure! They said mean things about us and backbit us but that is only because we gave them a chance to.
Sure! They were multi-faceted but were we blind to not have seen it before? Oh maybe we were.
Sure! They revealed your secrets but who told you to tell them your secrets in the first place?
Sure! They backstabbed you, only because you let them do so.
Sure! They were not there when you needed them the most but why do you even need them? Be self-sufficient.
Sure! They cheated you but it’s only because you trusted them and let them do so!
Nobody can hurt you unless you give them the right to. It is not unless you give them a place in your heart and a part to play in your life or else no matter what they did, you wouldn’t really care. Millions, billions, trillions and zillions of people do acts of goodness every minute but does that really make your life better? And in the same way trillions and zillions of people break the laws and do evil things every minute but does it really harm you. Why? It doesn’t matter much because those people are not part of our life, they sure are part of the world we live in but they don’t play a part in our life which is why our life’s plot remains unaltered.
THEN COMES THE FORGIVING PART.
FORGIVE AND FORGET!
LET BYGONES, BE BYGONES.
If you see the whole scenario as someone else’s fault, where everything that went wrong is to blamed on them. All the bad things that happened to you were because of them. Then you will need to find the greatness of forgiving in yourself, which, must I include is not as easy as it sounds.
Whereas if you consider the second part of the picture where the whole scenario glares back at you, shouting out loud: “It was your fault. You chose them. You trusted them. You let them do this to you. It was entirely your fault!”. Then you won’t have to find in yourself the greatness to forgive. It is a two-step process;
i) Accepting the fact that we were wrong to have trusted them in the first place but we are Humans and HUMANS MAKE MISTAKES,
ii) Promising oneself to never trust a person like this ever again.
This two-step process, my friend, is much easier than forgiving someone who melancholised you, hurt you and caused you heaps of misery.
ACCEPT, PROMISE, FORGET.
ACCEPT, PROMISE, FORGET.
ACCEPT, PROMISE, FORGET.
ACCEPT, PROMISE, FORGET.
ACCEPT, PROMISE, FORGET.
